Embrace me.

20050731

He is always there for me,whenever I needed him.No,he isn't the absolute basketballer that I've liked.He's another guy.He is perfect,he is nice.But I just can't seem to fall in love with him.
Maybe we're really not meant to be.
=/

<3.
In love and death.
6:49:00 PM

20050730

1.what made you happy this week ?
this week?charlie and the chocolate factory are coming! (x
2.what made you sad this week?
quarrels and bitches?
3.has someone/somebody make u happy lately?
hah.charlie and willy wonka i think-
4.how are you feeling at the moment?
BORED =/
6.are you the type of person who easily gets hurt?
so-so?
7. do you cry?
don't u ?
8.have you ever been to a point in your life that you've thought about giving up?
yeah.when i was in primary 4 - haha!
9. the last movie you watched?
its been ages since i last entered the movie theartre.i seriously dun remember.
10. with who?
i dont know .
11. the last song you heard?
summer nights ; greased lightning.(:
12. the last time you spent ur money?
buying food from the canteen? =/
.13. the last place you went?
downstairs.
14. the last food you ate?
famous amos chocolatechips cookies,dipped into the freshly squeezed pure white milk (:
15. the last thing you heard from your parents?
mama lei?go out already ah?
16. the last thing you said to your parents?
no.sleeping.
17. the last thing you said to one of your friends?
i see.
18. the last thing you read?
this.
19. the last person you called?
yeeling?that dated back to last afternoon.
20. the last person who called you?
no idea.
21. the last person who msg you?
darren?
.22. the last person who said you're pretty/handsome?
heh.no idea.
23. the last person who msg you at friendster?
erms.joseph?
24. the last person who chat with you in MSN?
ilene.
25. the last person you're with?
i dont know.
26. the last person you kissed goodnight?
hah!tangle!
27. the last person you kicked?
tangle-(:
28. the last person you think of before going to sleep?
weilong.
29. the last thing you're going to do before going to sleep?
close my eyes.
30. the last time you went clubbing?
erms.2 years later.
31. What song r u listening now?
none.
32. handphone brand?
nokia.
33.wat would u do if sumone tells u he/she likes u?
depends.
34. where do u live?
serangoon ave 2.(:
35. what can't you live without?
darlings,money,family(:
36. Who are you thinking of right at this moment?
weilong?
37. what do you want most?
to fall in love.heh(:
38. what would best describe you?
spastic! (x
39. who do you hate?
i dont hate.
40. What do you hate?
smoking?
41. what do you look forward to?
MONDAY!
42. Few words before we call it a day?
if ure reading this,ure as insane as me! (:

<3.
In love and death.
2:14:00 PM

I'm bored!

Actually I have a something in my mind,I wanna join other CCA and quit my current one.I dislike it!And I wanna go out!I wanna write a compo!Haha! =P
I wanna go school!Just at this moment.But then,we'll be having 3 tests on Monday!Aww man,this sucks the entire world la.
My maths is like,gawd damn shit?!I hardly know how to do any of the remedial worksheets Miss Ng handed me.BOO!I wanna pass this test so badly!
I'm sick!Everytime I'm sick,something will happen to my LOVE life!Previously,when I fell sick when I have a boyfriend,that relationship will end!Then what will happen when I'm sick and I don't have a boyfriend?!Haha,I bet everything will stay the same!
I'm so damn addicted to Bewitched!I wanna be a witch.Well,not those with crooked and long nose!I wanna twitch my nose and then,AHHAH!I will then get what I want!
bLo0pX!I wanna miss someone,but there's hardly anyone for me to miss!
(:

<3.
In love and death.
12:42:00 PM

20050729

THE SILLY GURL*

I feel so happy,I have finally changed my blogskin into a retro one(: Retro is my life,in case you dont know,I've always wanted to live in the 70s'. Again, I didnt go to school and take the CCA photo,I feel pukish yknow.I feel like puking everynow and then,and I'm nauseous every moment.Seems like I'm pregnant,but I'm not.

I've been feeling down so I decided to message him yesterday night.Everything went WRONG! Haha!Sounds stupid I think,we had a small tiff.We don't think alike,we think otherwise- =/
So after 6 months of hanging,I've decided to give up on him,yes I would.I've been sickened about all this months of loving a guy whom I can't click with!

Precisely,if you were me,you would have felt sad that you have quarrelled with the one you loved.But hey,hell wrong!I don't feel sad at all. This is where I am sad about.I have lost all my love for him.And well,it's time to give up anyway.

Heaven knows when will I meet another one in my life...

(:
Thanks for reading.I owe you a SMOOCH*

<3.
In love and death.
2:05:00 PM

20050728

I HATE MY LIFE ;

I HATE EVERYTHING.

I HATE YOU!

<3.
In love and death.
8:33:00 PM

20050727

ive been craving for stories nowadays after the '5 people you meet in heaven'.wasnt that interested in mitch albom's another book 'tuesdays with morrie' so i din really read.now reading a book called 'the family ways',by tony parsons.its about 3 sisters lar,and its a lil' too adult,but then its still fine for me(:
ive got a short one here.i think huina will know who is the author-(:

theres a gurl whos crazy and deeply in love w/ this guy who aint that handsome or aint that smart.
but heaven know,
she just fall in love deeply w/ this particular guy.

her friends knew about it,
so everytym they see this guy,
they will tease the gurl by saying
'hey hes here!hes here!'
although the gurl will act as if nothing happened,
deep down her heart,
she is hoping that this guy will turn around and say hi to her.
even though its such a simple thing,
months later,he only said once.

the guy knew about her liking him,
clearly.
but everytym when this gurl is w/ her another friend.
the guy would choose to talk to her friend rather than her.
this gurl truly HEARTBROKEN but nobody can really see it.
what can she do?
theres nothing she can do except for continue waiting-

nobody really knows what this guy is thinking bout,i think.
=/

today was fun but im in no mood to blog about anything that happened today.if you wanna know the details,pop your mouse into my LINKS and search for huina's name,her name's w/ a strike.her post is full of details-
well,by the way,in case you guys dunno,the names w/ a strike means my dearest(:

SWIFT WON !

<3.
In love and death.
1:11:00 AM

20050724

changed my blogskin (:
not really changed.
just the picture and the words.
no more basket of chocolates):
I LOVE HIM,
but not this much anymore!

AUGUST15TH ;

I SWEAR TO MOTHER NATURE, I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH! (x

<3.
In love and death.
5:15:00 PM

20050720

din go school today.
erms pontangg lar-
then my dad thought i got headache again,
ahhas then i too,went along and say yeah headache(:
wonder what did i missd today in school.
gonna make it up tomorrow,
besides i have a mission to complete for my LOVELY BRAdder(:

nearly went to school after that for my dou dou class.
but then aiya did go lar,
cuz nobody wanted to accompany me ):

suddenly feel like cutting my hair short.
short like erms just short.
its not that i dun wanna tie up my hair everyday but then,
its like,i dun wanna be like just any other gurls.
but i cant bear to lose my long hair.
):
nevermind.
i think i will be cutting it.
(:

<3.
In love and death.
8:44:00 PM

it seems so long since i last blogged lar.
well cant get to sleep so just come and blog lor
(:
well.
went uber high today.
maybe cause im cooped inside ms ng's homeroom for 2 hrs;
me and zhengrui went siao.
he tied a his hair,like one bunch.
then i tied my hair into two ponytails and then clipped my fringe to a side.
wore yeeling and norman's glasses.
tucked in until nothing was out.
to mr chew's expectations lar
pulled my socks high and everyone in class laughed lar.
then i said with the malaysian accent that my name is AH HUA and im from a kampong from malaysia.
no offence to those malaysian though
(:
ms ng later asked me out and say,
im the role model of 2e2 cause i obeyed all the rules of peirce.
damn!
i rather get detention if i have to dressed up like that everyday.
hahas.
ohh then suddenly many people took photos of me.
its like,waa im so famous ah!
hehheh(x
then i shouted to huixian jonah they all.
you guys know who's my boyfriend?!
MR GOH!
then they started laughing again.
went back to where i sat lar.
so i told huijing in the malaysian accent again,
the people in my kampong calls me AH HUA.
but yknow whats my real name?!
my real name is JU HUA!
which is chrysanthemum lar.
the class was like real noisy lar.
then i kept claiming that zhengrui's my brother.
cuz he also same pattern as me.
so i say my name is AH HUA,his name is AH GUA!
lame lar.
i know(:
ahhhas.
sometimes,we also need to unwind for a lil' while.
hehheh(:

after school,
went to meet mdm nah for the overseas trip.
we are gg to xi'an,
a place of china lor.
erms drng november.
but it's not cheap yknow.
so i was like,
i wanna go and i know my parents would allow.
but i kinda dun wan because of the price.
its steep yknow.
but nevertheless,my mom asks me not to worry lar.
so yeah i gg ba(:
i seriously want yeeling they all to go too.
it will be like so so fun?!
hehheh(:

but before i go,
i think i need to memorise tons of jokes first,
lest the journey there get bored.
(:

oh yeah.
we were like talking bout what we wanna be when we grow up
so i say i wanna be a pilot.
then yeeling say she wanna be an air-stewardess lar.
her bro teased her,saying that those who wear spects cant be air-stewardess.
then we say can lar,w/ contact lenses.
after that huixian and me walked to the bus-stop opp. mrt station and we started talking bout this.
cuz huixian says she also wanna be a pilot.
so we started imagining,
one day we were piloting then the plane got some probs and the passengers have to get evacuated,
then the head of those air-stewardess say that something happened in a cabin.
we were like saying,
yeeling is an air stewardess on the plane and she dropped her contact lense.
then when the passengers were all trying to leave,
she shouted
STOP.
then everyone stopped and look at her.
trying to find out what happened then she say
my contact lens dropped le,help me find!
and,the passengers will point at her and say
SIAO and walk away.
ahhhas.
what if this really happenes?!

hehes.

NERD.

<3.
In love and death.
2:19:00 AM

20050717

sucks lar -
life is a boredom ):
wanna concentrate on my studies already.
gonna refresh my jokes.
i cannot always rely on the matchstick and cabbage joke which i have told my friends for umpteen times.
):
yay !
i suddenly feel so UNBURDENED .
ahhhas.
i sometimes feel like i am a jekyll and hyde ~

<3.
In love and death.
12:05:00 PM

20050714

like a tap,water came out from my eyes.
uncontrollably,unstoppably ;
DROPPED*
it's a wonderous sign cause ive seldom cried.
after the breakup 10 months ago.

when a person cries,it shows the deepest feeling inside her heart.
14o7o5 ;
1 more day till i have loved you for 5 months -

i know you wont know.
but whats the point even if you have known?
you dun seemed to care.
i just wish that i have made the wrong conclusion -

<3yuan

<3.
In love and death.
11:30:00 AM

20050713

<3.
In love and death.
11:30:00 AM

20050710

wow.
yknow yesterday was cool lar(:
talked to kenyon and amanda at 12am like that then we talked nonstop until 530am in the morning(:
then i called kenyon and we talked till 630am.
actually wanted to go to ya kun and have breakfast but the both us cant wake up.
hes worse-
i woke up at 11,he woke up at 1 or 2?
ahhhas
(:

5 days to 5 months *
you're the one that i want!

<3.
In love and death.
3:44:00 AM

20050709

urgghh-
my depression is back.
i have a BAD feeling;
which i dun wish to talk bout it.

bye.

<3.
In love and death.
1:44:00 AM

20050706

went to watch the choir performance with youjing last night.
together with hexiang and kenyon also lar.
that was nice but then i think i ve left youjing out some of the time.
sorrie jing(:
but the performance was nice.
i think ours was the best.
with those malay dances and additional stuffs lar.
extraordinary i bet(:
good job,choir(:

din went to school today.
overslept ):
and youjing tell me that bobby is hospitalised.
uhh-
i wanna go visit him so badly!
but i dunno which hospital he is in.
sam told me that he cudnt even remember who's ben.
aww.
can anyone just tell me which hospital is he in ?

<3.
In love and death.
11:28:00 PM

so bobby isnt admitted into hospital or he have come out or anything lar.
really felt so relieved for him.
hehheh.
someone came apologising to me and ask for forgiveness just now.
haha.
after the full 10 months after we broke up?
what the hell.
06102oo4,i will never ever forget that day okay.
i dun think i will forgive him.
but who knows?
i had been in good mood nowadays,maybe?
hehheh.
but i think i just cant control myself from cursing once i sees him.
hehs.
(:

gonna do my unfinished homework and dig out my higher chinese file!
uhhhhgg.
byee*

<3.
In love and death.
9:49:00 PM

20050705

war of the worlds.

hehs.
isnt life a splendid thing?
i think it is.
even though im still not attached to HIM* ;
well,
life isnt just LOVE right?
(:
i can be a philosopher if i failed to be a pilot years later(:

me and huina went to catch WAR OF THE WORLDS earlier on today.
w00ts.
definitely a GREAT show,i bet.
it's nice lar.
steven spielberg's shows are always that SUPERB.
(:
if you have the money,have the time,have the companion,go ahead and catch it(:
hehs.i can consider being a movie critic too actually.

yay.
finally i can get to see him tomorrow again(:
and i'm going for the choir concert @ victoria theatre with youjing(:
another 12bucks flew(:
its okay lar.i dun mind actually.

changed my blogskin,yet again(:
i like the kiddies photo.
ahhhas.
i wanna be young again.
realised that i din really have any childhood memories(:
except that i have always played with two brothers who the elder bro later went on to be my boyfriend.
ahhahs.
thats cute actually(:

yeaps.
ive gotta run.
1.16am (:

dreams are coming true,i guess.

WORD OF THE DAY:
sugarcandy - something which is nice to look at(:

special shoutout for my DARLING* ilene :
never ever be sad over the A thing lar.
im worth more than him RIGHT?
right!
(:
<3yuan.

<3.
In love and death.
1:21:00 AM

20050703

yesterday was so tired but okay lar,abit fun barh.woke up early in the morning to go school for the stjohn carnival.when we reached there.it was like so sian.but then i tell you what,throughout the whole carnival,it just sucks.then me jonah aini juliet and michelle 'sneaked out' to the hawker centre opposite HQ to have lunch.we roamed about outside and accompany juliet to shop for her boots and make lion's nametag.few hours later we went back lar.we watched other schools to perform and you know somehow,it still dun interests us.then desmond,cheehao,shaun and adrian asks me and juliet to go suntec.so we went lor.walked all the way there then i have stomachache so shaun and desmond helped us to take those uniforms and boots.ahhhas.thanks ah.then we go to the macs and have our meal lar.was saving up ma.so i can only afford to buy the $1.95 burger.then keep coping desmond's fries.ahhhas.anyway,we went to the excel fair to see peirce one lar.erms just like that lor.mark they all were cooking candies.so we left and we walked all the way to city hall mrt and then juliet found out that she left her ezlink at the macs!the guys din wanna walk back again.so michelle me and juliet ran back.then the ezlink cant be found!WTF!so i gave my $20 to juliet to let her make a new ezlink without her mom knowing it.she was right anyway.theres still a month away and im already starving myself and saving up and he wont appreciate it,so why shud i be so foolish?!at the most,just give him the tag.tell you what,he wont think that its special anyway.yeah.then we changed our uniforms and took a taxi to cathigh.then stood there for the whole 4-5 hours.i meant we rested lar.but we stand more.saw taufik,sylvester,jones shi kang jun,penny tai,mark lee,patricia mok,fiona xie,tay ping hui and lots more lar.(:

<3.
In love and death.
12:38:00 PM

20050702

today is erms.like normal?its stjohn day and ncc day.actually not really,tomorrow's the authentic sjab day.well,wore the uniform for the whole day today and gna wear it tomorrow for the PD again.it seems fun for the PD.get to see singers and or these.why not?stayed back in school today for the science retest thingy today.and then was like dumbfounded for the particles thing lar.but then the bio part was still like okay?just hope that i will pass it lor.but then on the maths side.its like,impossible?i hardly know anything about it.gotta buck up.

well.even if he really said bye to me just now.its already useless-

fine.was taking 136 home just now.then i saw a peircean and then.AHHHAH.phakathorn a. actually was quite excited to see a peircean lar.but then its him.then was like.nevermind.at least have a companion to talk to.heehee.huina will kill me if she reads this.(:

supposed to upload those photos of wenting to friendster but then my sis took the card reader to her boyfriend's house and so.i cannot upload her pics again.sorrie ah(:

and wonder what happened to gwen.din call me.well,i was sleeping too.for the whole evening.in fact,i dun have the mood to shop for the thing anymore.its like,if he wont appreciate it,so whats the big deal?starved for the whole day just to save up the pathetic $10 for him?and he din even say bye to me?not blaming him.but its like thinking if everything was worthwhile.

whatever lar.still have the stjohn carnival tomorrow and gotta wake up early in the morning.sucks lar.

alrights.gonna turn in soon.gdnite sweetlings(:

<3.
In love and death.
1:30:00 AM